Ok, so.. some of you will love this post. Some will be sending me hate mail. No issues.

So, I get home Saturday, have this big family thing and then my wife to be seems to be in a rather

interesting mood.  We're going at the whole "wake the dead" kind of sex, when we get a wild hair up

our ass. We call a guy to come over.  Thats where the hate mail will start. No, we're not bible thumpers.

And no, we don't like to be thump'd on either. We're swingers. also known as people to trust eachother

so much and know eachother so well that we're ok with sex. Fact is I love to watch her enjoy herself. 

And no, it doesn't bother me at all. Live with it. :) Anyway, between us two guys, she was in heaven. lol

But the end result was, someone had scratched her with his nail while doing the finger hop. lol So yeah.

Ouch. I hope she feels better. I really do. 

Any way. If you want more detail, ask her. lol :) 

So, here we are, another day. Seem that they just go on and on and on. I found my ex on myspace, or more to the point, she found me. It has brought back tons of emotions, from what she did to me, to what I did to her. We played games. That wasn't right. Together, we have two beautiful little girls. Maria will turn six this year. Lori will be five. It rocks my world to know they are back in San Antonio. To think, I've missed the past four years. All because she would hide and run and be a bitch pretty much.

 Now, here I am, in a good career, in love again, engaged to be married. We want kids of our own. And my heart is torn. Not doubting how I feel about her. Not worried about where we will be in one, two, five, or ten years. It's torn because as I think of the kids I will have with her. The love I will share - I don't want it to be a replacement for my other children. I miss them, I love them. They are my world - my soul. And - the woman I'm with now is my soulmate. My lover, my best friend. I really want our family. No doubts. Not one. I basicly miss my babies. No matter how that bitch kept them from me. I looked and looked. I did everything I could. Short of doing what she did. Short of kidnapping them. I wouldn't and couldn't put her through what she had her family do to me.

I miss them so much, I swear I cry in the blood that stained my soul. I feel like I'm in a deep, black ocean of emotion, and it's killing me. Slowly. I'm getting better at dealing with it. And I'm excited to have a new life in my arms that was created from love and in a loving, true, pure relationship. But no one and nothing can replace my girls. My children.

I miss you Princess. I miss you Pixie. And daddy loves you both.

So.. I don't have myspace at work.. some corporate jerk thinks it's all adult content and shit.. so.. here it goes.

My baby is signing the lease to OUR new apartment!!! YEAH!!  I'm excited to get back home. I want to help her out and do all that.. but I have to be here in Lebanon, TN for another 10 days. FUCK.

Oh well.. I'll have to write more later, class will be restarting soon. God, I miss her. :(